Les tries to have another one of his 'man to man' talks with Kirk. The fact that they are at least two 'men' short doesn't seem to deter him one bit.

He tells Kirk, 'You know where Fiz is now, don't you?'
The less than bright one furrows his brow and replies, 'At work?'
Les shakes his head, 'No you berk! She's in the safety zone.
She knows she's got you and Tyrone just where she wants you.
The only way is to let her think you aren't interested.
Totally blank her. She'll soon come running.'
Kirk isn't sure but Les assures him it will work.
He then enthuses, 'They say if you want to know about a woman you look at the mother.

And just look at Cilla!' (How this doesn't send Kirk running for the hills I'll never know!)

Tyrone calls across the bar to Kirk, 'What are you having Kirk?'

Kirk snarls, 'Nothing off you Dobbs.'
Tyrone replies, 'Come on mate. I don't want any hard feelings. Have a pint with me.
Les?'
As you'd expect, the prospect of a free pint easily plays havoc with Les's convictions and he tells Kirk,
'Well, it's his money....even if he 'is' a lousy backstabber!'

Tyrone replies, 'Come on Kirk. What do you say? We're both in the same boat and I'd say it's well sunk.'

But as Fiz looks on she is witness to a rebonding of the Northern Male kind. Tyrone - 'Are you having that then?' Kirk - 'I suppose.'
Tyrone, 'Mates?'
Kirk - 'I suppose.'
Tyrone - 'Cheers.'
Kirk - 'Cheers.'

Sheer poetry. Fair brought a tear to my eye!

This is further compounded as Janice whispers to Fiz, 'Looks like they've had enough of your games lady. The decision might have been taken out of your hands.'

Well, all seems to be hunky dory between Laurel and Hardy again.

Tyrone enthuses, 'That's the last time we ever let a woman come between us, right mate?'

Kirk agrees, 'No, next time we'll say, 'No, you can't... 'cos we're mates!'

The entente cordiale at the other end of the bar is immediately shattered as Tyrone hollers, ' Fiz, I will get you a wicked ring!'

Kirk counters, 'No, I will. Mine will be way better than yours!'
Les and Jack shake their heads in horror.

'I can't help it!' wails Kirk, 'I love 'er!'
Tyrone bellows, 'No, I love her more!'

and here we go again!